“The last two weeks I’ve written a beginners guide to Asian cinema, I originally planned to include this but thought it would perhaps suit it’s own standalone place. More next week though!”

Hayao Miyazaki and chums over at Studio Ghibli have shown the world that Japanese animation can be ultra stylish and stories don’t have to involve underage hareems and panty shots. However Studio Ghibli to your every day anime is more like comparing Walt Disney Pictures to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Movies are a different world compared to their TV counterparts.

The problem with anime is that it has a bad image. There is a sea of almost perverted stories or tales of a boy so strong he fights with other… strong people or equally ridiculous ordeals. However these are stories from another culture, a whole other style of life, style of thinking and most of all a whole other style ir story telling, it just takes a little thought to find something that wont make you vomit.

Culture is the wire that trips people up. It’s often hard to grasp the point of something when you don’t understand where they are coming from. That is where I come in, I’m going to lay down some examples that will hopefully change your opinion on anime.

Name: Welcome to the NHK
Licensed: Funimation
Year: 2006

Tatsuhiro Sato is a college drop-out and spends his time alone in his flat. Scared of the outside world and scared of the disappointment he has caused he has become a recluse. Misaki Nakahara is an outgoing young girl who claims to be able to cure Tasuhiro on a day by day basis, arranging meetings outside of his flat. Kaoru Yamazaki is an old high school friend who has become obsessed with anime and anime culture.

Welcome to the NHK is more of your standard series. It does incorporate many of the typical anime conventions, however what makes it stand out as a good series is it makes fun of that culture. It isn’t about bizarre goings on or verging underage girls, but in fact uses that as it’s base of comedy.

Name: BUS Gamer
Licensed: N/A
Vintage: 2008

This really short series takes it’s leave from any conventions, and basically establishes itself as a really good animation. What works most in it’s favour is that it isn’t aimed at children, so the thrills and frills you would see in the 9 billion other series are absent and what we are left with is a 3 piece, raw, action series.

The plot revolves around an Urban game, where basically people are randomly selected to pit them selves against other ‘groups’ for a substantial amount of money. Yes this includes fighting, but you wont find any hand generated power blasts or giant swords only normal people with lead pipes or the occasional kung-fu.

I can’t really say much else on the subject but I’ve already summed up what I like so much. So seek it out!

Name: Sayonara Zetsubo Sensei, Goodbye Mr. Despair
Licensed: N/A
Vintage: 2007

Unlike BUS Gamer, Sayonara… is aimed at a younger audience, youngER not young, so don’t be put off. Much in the same vein as Welcome to the NHK the series doesn’t take itself seriously and in fact exists to mock anime culture and unlike NHK pop culture in general.

The main character is over dramatic and self loathing, but this is where most of the mockery comes from. Pretty much once an episode he breaks out into a mini break down exclaiming “I AM IN DISTRESS” or something of the sort, mocking the over-exaggerated emotions present in practically every anime series.

One of the best and funniest reoccuring elements of Sayonara… is the appearance of random snippets of the writers thoughts on certain goings on in modern Japan, most apparent on the blackboard in all classroom scenes. The writer also slots in his own thoughts of bemusement on his series and how he “finally” has it anime-ised.

It’s really hard to explain why this is a good series and not your typical school girl or school boy anime, it’s a watch it an see affair mostly. And if you don’t get it’s humour or it’s type of parody then it will probably fall into oblivion as a waste of your eyes, but your too intelligent for that aren’t you! Aren’t You!?

Other Series of Note

Death Note – Half of this series is golden. On the surface it’s another school boy series involving ‘Death God’s’ most popularly seen in Bleach. However after the first episode or two it comes to light that the series is better fitted in a Film Noir genre, or detective story. Which is great. However about half way through the series there is a major twist, which ruins it and we are introduced to new characters.

HOWEVER! I have a feeling that the production team know this is a letdown, and not long ago released a 3hr TV special, which documents up until that point. In true Neon Genesis fashion.

Samurai Champloo & Cowboy Beebop – I put the two together on the simple basis that they are from the same production company and have similar style. The stories are fairly standard, Samurai is basically a group of conflicting characters following a quest, and Cowboy Beebop a group of bounty hunters doing their job. What makes them stand out however is their mix of settings. Samurai Champloo is set in Edo Japan but put to a hip-hop soundtrack, and Cowboy Beebop in space set to blues (in true Blade Runner style).

Ergo Proxy – A much more darker series involving humanoid robots, deadly virus and a post apocalyptic world. Little to no comedy breaks the tension or story. Well worth a watch.

I sometimes wonder whether the people who will stumble across this article would be anime fans, and therefor need no guiding, but whether or not I believe I have outlined some very interesting series for you set your viewing muscles upon. Enjoy.

As confusing it may be trying to expand your cinema horizons, nothing is more mind boggling than actually finding the damn things to watch. It’s rare that we get screenings in the western world, unless you’re lucky enough to be in the vicinity of an independent cinema or Jackie Chan releases a new film.

This is going to be a resonably short article, however I’m going to outline a few places/names/other stuff to look out for on your DVD shopping trip.

Thanks to a recent boom in interest your local reputable Music and Video store is more than likely going to stock a few gems in the “World Cinema” department, but what to look out for? Apart from any directors or actors you may have heard of it is always a good idea to keep an eye out for DVD publishers. Tartan Asia Extreme and Premier Asia are the big two, but even then they have pretty limited back catalogues, but is always a start.

eBay! Everyone loves eBay, home of the internet bargain. I know what you might be thinking, you don’t want to buy a second hand, scratched and unplayable disc, nor do you want to buy some knock off downloaded movie. But fear not! There are a few eBay stores selling genuine sealed DVD’s straight from the homeland, and mostly for less than £10. For Example. However, that said, trust your instincts and all that malarkey.

Gymnastics concluded tonight at the Beijing Olympics. 

Men took the floor first on the parallel bars, where China dominated in the form of Li Xiaopeng.  South Korea’s Yoo Won-Chultook silver and Uzbekistan’s Anton Fokintook bronze.  Fokin became the first gymnast to ever win a medal for Uzbekistan.  After all the men had received their scores, Fokin raised his hand in the air and made a one with his index finger, showing that even if he came in third, he still considered himself a champion. 

That moment definitively embodied the Olympics for me.  During the course of watching the games, little things often make me contemplate the larger meaning and the spirit of the Olympics.  Fokin’s pride in himself and gratitude for placing, regardless of what metal his medal is made of, perfectly demonstrated the sportsmanship and honor the Olympics should bestow on its athletes.

Nastia, Shawn, Cheng Fei and others were the next competitors in the lineup.  The girls competed for the balance beam title, and 16-year-old Shawn Johnson reigned supreme.  Cheng Fei of China set the bar at an impressive height as the first competitor when she earned a 15.950.  Comepetitors failed to top her score until Johnson, a native of Iowa, received a 16.225.  Teammate Nastia Liukin followed with a 16.025.  Both Johnson and Liukin delivered stunning routines with hardly any errors and rightly deserved gold and silver, respectively.

The 4′9″ Johnson stood on the top podium for the first time.  She adds her gold medal to a collection of three silvers.  Nastia accepted her fifth medal and third silver; she also has a gold and a bronze.  Cheng Fei took her second bronze, which she complements with a gold from the team competition.

Thank God the judges were back on track.  The two best routines won medals.  Both Johnson and Liukin were solid and clean, except when each took a step to balance her dismount.  Johnson gained an edge with her power and supreme balance; while Liukin was more graceful, she did not deliver the same dynamic force and confidence Johnson brought to the beam.  Cheng Fei deserved third for her solid routine.  None of the other competitors seemed to even be in contention for the medals.

Johnson smiled broadly and made a number one sign directly into the American television cameras, and she stood wide-eyed and serious on the tallest podium.  Her parents sobbed as they embraced, and teammate Liukin and coach Liang Chow hugged and congratulated her.   Although only a few years younger than the other medal-winners, seeing the 16-year-old Johnson win gold seemed more extraordinary than any of the other individual event finals.  Perhaps it’s because Johnson is so small and so smiley, or perhaps it’s because I know she’s the minimum age to compete, but watching her win was one of the most special medal ceremonies so far.

The men’s horizontal bar finished the night.  Zou Kai of China won, and I don’t think anyone was surprised.  The surprises came from Jonathan Horton, a 22-year-old American, and Fabian Hambüchen, a 20-year-old German.  Horton altered his routine to include more difficult releases, which he hoped would give him an advantage over his Chinese opponents.  Horton celebrated as soon as he dismounted and was more than happy to received a silver.  Hambüchen delivered a solid performance after several disappointments in Beijing.

Horton’s releases were incredible.  I was not expecting to see anything like that from him.  I was also glad to see Hambüchen win a medal.  He has been a familiar face on the men’s lineup but never seemed to be able to grasp first, second or third.  Zou Kai, who beat Horton for first by 0.025 of a point, had the advantage over both due to his technical skill hometown advantage.

Overall, a fair showing from the judges and a great conclusion for the Beijing gymnastics.

Wasted Orient is a pretty raw film. Kevin Fritz’ only directorial venture to date, Wasted Orient documents the first tour of struggling Chinese punk rock band Joyside. Struggling is an understatement, although they have a growing fanbase, a manager and the ‘punk’ attitude, the members of Joyside live in a poor section of Beijing, after moving there to start a band.

Lives riddled with alcohol, tobacco and a violent temperament Bian, Yang, Fan, Liu and Xin board a train and travel to various provinces of China in their break-through tour. We are given snippets about their life, their thoughts and their punk dreams along the way. It is often confusing whether what we are seeing is deluded wannabes playing up to the camera or a group of people hellbent on their dreams and pressing through regardless of their hardships.

The film is shot almost entirely handheld, with moments of stability found on the friendly compounds of noodle bars or fast food restaurants. We are given song sizes snippets of the band in action, a short 5 minutes or so where the editing power of Fritz and McCauley come to full bloom.

Wasted Orient, as with most good documentaries, relies only on the interaction between those on screen to tell the story, they make no attempt to narrate the movie but no attempt to hide Fritz, often speaking directly to him or vice versa.

I don’t know whether it’s because I empathise with the band, relating them to my own struggle in music, or whether Fritz is truly a great director, but Wasted Orient has ways of touching my heart, making me feel immense sorrow at the shortfalls of the band and showing me the reason I enjoy playing music. The fans, the rock and roll life style and a deep insight into Chinese youth culture, it’s all here.

“Rock and Roll in China is a Nightmare”

China's He Kexin celebrates her gold medal for uneven bars. American Nastia Liukin received silver, although she and He both earned the exact same score.

The Olympic gymnastics individual event finals, currently underway in Beijing, have already sparked controversy on more than one occasion, although they only began yesterday.

Talk of judging errors and judges’ incompetency developed on the crest of an already controversial wave sweeping through Beijing:  that of the alleged age of the Chinese women’s team.

The media has made comments suggesting some of the Chinese women do not truly meet the rule that states a gymnast must be 16 years of age or turn 16 during the games in order to compete.  Bela Karolyi, who has coached his fair share of champions, insinuated the Chinese government provides inaccurate passports to their gymnasts so they can compete.

With the age argument already brewing, the judges came under attack during the first two nights of women’s individual events finals.  Night 1 brought problems at the vault.  Alicia Sacramone, a 20-year-old American, delivered two solid vaults with lower difficulty values than China’s Cheng Fei, who brought higher starting values to the table but who committed several errors, including landing on her knees, during her second vault.  Cheng Fei’s scores placed her in third, earned her a bronze and knocked Sacramone off the podium. 

Karolyi, who comments on the performances for American news station NBC, called the outcome a “total ripoff” and said his heart goes out to Sacramone, who deserved to be on the podium.   American commentator and former gold medal gymnast Tim Daggett added that the judges should have penalized Cheng Fei for more errors than they chose to acknowledge.

Karolyi and Daggett would have more to say the next night when the women took the uneven bars.  He Kexin of China performed first and earned a rightly-deserved 16.725 for an impressive routine.  American Nastia Liukin, the 2008 Olympics all-around champion, also delivered a solid performance and also received a 16.725.  An automatic tie-breaker was enacted, and the computer system shortly declared He Kexin the gold medalist.  Liukin and father Valeri, former Soviet gold-medalist, sat silently on the sidelines as the remaining gymnasts performed, but sought to clarify the situation with Team Coordinator Marta Karolyi (and yes, wife of Bela).

Six judges score each gymnast.  The highest and lowest scores are dropped and the remaining four are averaged.  In the case of a tie, judges look to each gymnast’s execution score.  Since both girls shared the same execution score, the judges then drop each lowest score and recalculate each average.  He Kexin was declared the winner based on 0.033 of a point.

Karolyi said both girls deserved the scores they received and both girls deserved gold medals.  He argued that other sports issue two golds in ties and that gymnastics should do the same.  He also said the tiebreaker method was unfair, as it reduces the balance in the judging system.  Karolyi explained that no judges from participating countries could sit on the panel and thus, judges with little experience or low competency levels from nations with weaker gymnastics programs decide who gets the gold.  He expressed concern about the tiebreaker method and argued that reducing the gymnasts’ score to the average of three marks only heightens the chance for incompetency or inexperience to show through.

Daggett said Liukin should have won based purely on a superior routine.

I’d have to say I agree with Karolyi in both situations.  On vault, Sacramoneimpressed more with two well-done vaults than Cheng Fei with one good vault and one difficult vault full of errors.  I cannot understand how a gymnast who lands on all fours places above a gymnast who committed only minor errors.  I’ve felt as though the judges have been more biased toward the Chinese gymnasts throughout the whole competition, although I know there are no judges from China sitting on the panel when their girls compete. 

The uneven bars tiebreaker controversy was ridiculous.  Bothgirls excelled and delivered beautiful routines and bothgirls deserve gold medals.  There is no reason why gymnastics should not issue gold medals; I feel as though a factor that comes down to warped etiquette or an obsession with perfection prevents two girls from sharing a podium.  Karolyi has a valid point when he says the balance of the judging system is thrown off by the tiebreaker; gymnastics is a subjective sport and reducing the number of scores reduces the range of this subjectivity.

Amid the faults on vault and controversial ties, I did truly enjoy some moments in the last two nights of individual events.  First was Oksana Chusovitina, a 33-year-old who moved from Uzbekistan to Germany to get better medical treatment for her young son, winning silver on vault.  Her son Alisher, who suffers from leukemia, seems to be the driving force behind her campaign for Germany, and I enjoyed seeing someone with such a cause stand on the podium. 

Romania's Sandra Izbaşa dominated the floor.

Second was 18-year-old Romanian Sandra Izbaşa winning floor.  Performing last, she delivered a passionate, energetic and technically-excellent routine.  She hadn’t been a popular name in the competition until this point, but she edged in front of American Shawn Johnson and Nastia Liukin for gold.  Izbaşa actually appeared to have a similar style to Liukin:  graceful, with long lines that emphasized her slender physique, also similar to Liukin.

Individual events continue today, August 19th, in Beijing.  Women will compete for the balance beam title.  Liukincurrently has the highest score on beam with her all-around performance, but after tonight, it’s very obvious that a statistic like that does not guarantee anything.

Shawn Johnson and Nastia Liukin during the medal ceremony for the Beijing 2008 Women's Gymnastics Team Competition. The US received silver and would not taste gold until Liukin won the individual competition.

Nastia Liukin joined today the ranks of Mary Lou Retton and Carly Patterson when she won the Olympic gold medal for Women’s Individual All-Around Gymnastics.  The 18-year-old Moscow-born Texan stood slightly taller than teammate Shawn Johnson and China’s Yang Yilin when she accepted the first gold medal awarded to the United States for gymnastics at Beijing.  Both the American men and women had achieved only silver until tonight.

Liukin and Johnson secured the first Olympic gold-silver finish for the United States.  The girls were favored to place tonight, although the Chinese performance in the team competitions demonstrated the Americans would not win easily.

The individual started out shakily for both Americans.  After  unextraordinary performances on vault, both Liukin and Johnson appeared to be underscored on uneven bars when compared to their Chinese competitors.  An excellent routine on balance beam, which pulled the highest score for the night, put Liukin on top, but Yang Yilin still enjoyed a position from which she could steal gold.  In addition, Russians Anna Pavlova and Ksenia Semenova looked as though they could fight their way onto the podium.  All depended on the floor routine, for which Johnson would perform last with Liukin going immediately before her. 

On floor, Liukin and Johnson offered two of those rare moments in sports when an athlete brings everything they have at the last minute and receives the results they so desired and deserve.  Both gave stellar performances, and while the ballerina-like Liukin, complete with pink leotard, secured her gold, the spunky and strong Johnson inched past Yang to grab the silver. 

Béla Károlyi, famous for coaching some of the most successful and reknowned gymnasts of all time, compared the two champions to two of his former students.  He said Liukin, elegant and fluid, resembles Nadia Comaneci, the Romanian 14-year-old who received the first perfect score in Olympic gymnastics history.  Johnson, he said, reflects the power and consistency of Mary Lou Retton, the first American to win an individual gold medal.

To see Liukin and Johnson alongside each other on the Olympic podiums was a truly heartwarming experience.  History-making and great routines aside, their faces showed what the world knew they were feeling:  pride, relief, gratitude and joy.  These were two girls who went into today’s competition knowing they had just suffered defeat to the Olympic hosts, who had to remember the many faults and errors the American team made only a few days earlier, and who still excelled in their sport.

It’s always a daunting prospect discovering a new type of Cinema, the world can be a confusing place when you are being recommended things to watch left, right and centre or you just don’t have a clue as to what to watch. Trust me I’ve been there, so I’ve decided to write a little guide for anyone wanting to expand their tastes.

I should really make it clear that when I say Asian I mean East Asian (Japan, China, Korea, Thailand etc.) and not Southern Asian (India, Bangladesh, Iran etc.). Also, I really want you the reader to view this as a more open subject. If you really think a piece of Cinema is important enough for others to view let us all know.

In part one I’m going to introduce a few “entrance” movies. Nothing too violent, nothing too obscure and most importantly a good representation of culture. Aww here goes:

“Infernal Affairs” - Origin: China, Year: 2002, Dir: Wai-Keung Lao, Siu Fai Mak

Triads and Yakuza (Chinese and Japanese ‘Mafia’ respectively) are subjects that you will come across quite often in Chinese and Japanese movies, from the confusing to the bloody it’s all there. Infernal Affairs is no different. The highly stylish Mafia/Cop movie follows the story of Triad Mole and Police Mole as they infiltrate with each opposing side.

The film features some very famous faces (for the Chinese anyway) including pop-star Andy Lau, movie veterans Tony Leung and Anthony Wong and media obsessee Edison Cheng (who is centre of some rather ‘interesting’ controversies in the real world.) In other words, all star cast!

What is so amazing about this, apart from the fact the story is utterly fantastic, is perhaps how beautifully well it is shot. It also has the re-watch value of your own reflection. This is a film you have to see, beware though, perfection can ruin many things.

“Zatoichi” – Origin: Japan, Year: 2003, Dir: Takeshi Kitano

A modern remake of a classic, a not so old classic at that. The reason I chose the remake is apart from the fact it stars two pretty amazing actors it’s also the only version I’ve seen. Ssshhh. Takeshi Kitano, as with anyone with a thirst for money, directs and stars. Not to say he isn’t worthy, the man has been around the block, comedian, gameshow idol (Takeshi’s Castle actually), director and actor to name a few. Starring in films such as “Sonatine” and “Hana-Bi” he has cemented his seat as an acting great. Co-starring one of my favourite actors Tadanobu Asano, Zatoichi follows the tale of a blind swordsman as he moves to a town full of warring gangs.

One of the reasons this is a fantastic movie, no not the fighting although that is cool, is that it has a fairly true depiction of Samurai in Japan, where once they were a great fighting force and upheld the law but in latter years were driven to corruption by their power.

I’m assuming since this film is so great, it would also be worth checking out the 1989 version, however I haven’t done so yet. Oops.

“Last Life in the Universe” – Origin: Thailand (kind of), Year: 2003, Dir: Pen-ek Ratanaruang

I’ve mentioned Pen-ek’s successor movie “Invisible Waves” before but this movie is where I really gained interest in the director. Asano also stars, as with “Zatoichi”. Last Life is a simply fabulous movie. The story of the obscure meeting between two completely conflicting personalities and how they cope together in a relationship.

Kenji (Asano) is a straightlaced, quiet conserved Japanese person who lives alone in a pristene flat, he has thoughts of killing himself, thoughts that manifest in the abrupt murder of his insensitive brother. Kenji in a strange turn of events meets Noi. Noi is a messy, loud colourful character who brings this colour and life to Kenji’s dismal and dull life. There is an obvious language barrier between the two which brings a touch of humour to the otherwise serious movie.

The movie is more of a thinker. Not as cruise-control as the two I have already mentioned however this will set you up for the world of deep, thought provoking movies that lie in the Asian Cinema vault.

I hope this gives you a little starting step as to what you should watch, or give you some ideas of what to watch next.

Next: “Part Two: Where to Buy”

I recently watched Michael Haneke’s Funny Games. My original plan was to watch the original and then watch the US version, a shot by shot remake directed by Haneke himself. Watching the original quickly dispelled this notion.

Funny Games is not a film you enjoy, it is a film that you yield too, a film you are constantly afraid of admitting weakness too, a film that attempts to completely deconstruct ideas you have established about onscreen violence. In short it is a brilliant piece of work, but a piece of work which is remarkably repellent. Funny Games, through its constant destruction of the fourth wall, is a movie which attempts to reveal innate truths about the viewer.

Feeding a cinematic bloodlust and then pausing for cool introspection at its height. It is a movie which demands people pay attention to their own desires and forces you to study exactly what you expect of films in terms of their violent content. Watching Funny Games got me thinking about depictions of onscreen violence, and particularly the way that filmmakers attempt to generate a need for wanton destruction. As a species we are naturally voyeuristic and as such we are fascinated and thrilled by violence perpetuated against other humans.

Funny Games examines this fascination by making the viewer acutely aware of his own primal desires through a plethora of cinematic devices a great example of this being the wink the main villain gives to the audience as we anticipate the discovery of a dead pet. But what is Haneke commenting on? The audiences desire for viscera or the intellectual desire for violence? His arguments against the subtle use of screen violence only holds when violence is used as a sleight of hand tool, when it is used as punctuation in films which have intellectual merit. Far from putting me off of violence in cinema, Funny Games made me want to rediscover the movies in which violence was entertainment.

My first thought was to look at the action films of the 1980s and profile the work of directors like Mark L. Lester and Paul Verhoeven who would take transgressive screen violence as far as the ratings board would allow. Personally I felt more comfortable detailing films from East Asia and as such I’ll have to deal with American violence cinema in another post at some point.

As such the following films are, in my experience, the films which take the most joy in showcasing sheer destruction. There’s no attempt at subtlety in these films, no real attempts at providing anything other than visceral, bone breaking entertainment.

Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky

Compared to the other four films in this list Riki-Oh has a fairly small casualty list. Roughly a dozen people are killed throughout Riki-Oh’s 90 minute runtime. What the film lacks in quantity it makes up for in quality, well maybe quality is the wrong word to use but you get my meaning. Riki-Oh follows the titular hero as he finds himself locked up in a hellish prison controlled by an evil warden and regulated by his brutish lackeys. So far, so Fortress, but the film stops its slide into mediocrity within its opening minutes. You see the film has a trick up its sleeve, glorious ultra violence combined with slapstick and gooey special effects. The film first showcases its splattery sensibilities in a scene depicting everyday life in the prison, where an old man is harassed by a prison bully and his two comedy sidekicks. Harsh words are exchanged, feelings are hurt, noses are planed off and faces are impaled.

As you can see from the images in the review a working knowledge of physics and basic human biology were not requirement to work on this film. Instead it is a very literal adaptation of a Japanese comic book. Being that Japanese comics are by and large made for sociopaths by sociopaths the film is chock full of the kind of gore which is so extreme that it stops being even mildly disturbing and instead becomes almost farcical. Riki-Oh is endowed with super strength and an unwavering sense of justice which sees him through a myriad of tortures. The film gets more and more absurd as it goes on, the initial fracas leading into a fight between Riki-Oh and a big fat guy who gets his stomach punched exploded. Another fight ends with Riki tying the slashed tendons in his arm together before popping his opponents eyeball out of its socket with a well placed slap. The end of that particular fight, in which Riki’s now eyeless opponent uses his own intestinal track as a garrotte, displays the humour which is the films greatest asset.

As Riki is getting the life choked out of him the evil assistant warden bellows “you’ve got a lot of guts kid”. It’s a moment which highlights that everyone making the film is on the joke too, that they realise how inherently hilarious everything is. Of course by this point we have already seen the Warden’s pornography filled office and watched him get mints out of his glass eye. But it is this later moment which confirms that the film is aiming for absurdity above all else. The comedy isn’t what makes Riki-Oh a bad movie; in fact the inherent silliness is its one saving grace. What makes Riki-Oh a bad movie is how laughably inept it all is, actors are poor, shots are badly edited, and the FX work whilst nice and squelchy is also laughably bad. The fact that you forgive the bad effects is a testament to just how much fun Riki-Oh is, laughing at an obvious dummy getting its face impaled by spikes is an odd sort of pleasure, but it is a pleasure.

There is also something peculiarly charming about a movie which just so desperately wants to entertain. It is a movie in which a main villain is introduced by exploding some random guys head with his bare hands, where a simple flick of a knife can flense the flesh from the bottom of a man’s face, where the main hero punches an enemy’s fist into mush and where the doddery old villain stabs peoples eyes out with a cane and feeds prisoners who complain about rations into mincing machines.

It is a carnival of the grotesque and the macabre which deep down just wants to be loved.

Tom Yum Goong aka The Protector aka The Warrior King

Whereas Riki-Oh makes this list due to its wonderfully gory FX work, Tom Yum Goong makes it through sheer finesse. The second showcase of the incredible Tony Jaa manages to be far more effective in its brutality than Riki-Oh, and it achieves it all through the sheer physicality of its star and some premiere sound work. But before we continue this thought I’m going to reminisce about Jaa’s breakout film, Ong-Bak for a while, so allow me to pontificate and scroll down a paragraph or two if you’re Ong-Baked out.

Ong-Bak was the kind of film which made you appreciate being a martial arts fan; it was a shot in an arm to a genre that was flagging underneath its own pomp. The Wuxia craze of the 90s and the subsequent ubiquitous of choreographer Yuen Woo-Ping (and his countless imitators) had taken the edge off of Kung Fu. Esoteric fight scenes and copious wire work had dominated the scene for too long and were apparently unshakeable, especially with the success of wire-fu films such as Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon in the west.

It would be a Thai director and star who would ultimately bring martial arts films back to basics. Chud.com’s Devin Faraci would in his review describe Ong-Bak as being “like The Sex Pistols to House of Flying Dagger’s Pink Floyd” and it is bang on the money in terms of what Ong-Bak represented to martial arts films. Devoid of pretence, devoid of wires and tricks and borrowing wholesale from older movies Ong-Bak was the scrappy little film which grabbed your attention through sheer force of will and sheer force of knees. Tony Jaa was a force of nature, his actions and movements being enough to sustain an overly long running time and nebulous plot.

Whilst in Ong-Bak the filmmakers were coy in showcasing Jaa, not staging a fight until an hour into the movie and keeping the main character as pacifistic as possible, in Tom Yum Goong they’re just aiming to showcase as much damage as possible. Jaa’s character in Tom Yum Goong is pissed off for the duration of the film, and he is quite happy to break some skulls (and some arms, legs and tracheas) to get what he wants.

Whereas Ong-Bak balanced its brutal pervasive violence with ideas of spirituality, Tom Yum Goong is a far more mean spirited film presenting Jaa with a group of villains to destroy who could only be more evil if they punched kittens whilst on screen. Throughout the course of the film Jaa smashes his way through 112 opponents and by my count hospitalises at least 40 of them. There are only 5 deaths in the entire film, with only 2 attributable to Jaa, but the style of fighting used ensures behind that death would have been a far kinder fate for the survivors.

Utilising a style of Muay Thai called ‘Elephant Boxing’ Jaa starts the film off with his usual plethora of knees and kicks but soon starts to add grappling to his repertoire. Whilst his kinetic blows are enough to make a viewer wince, when he starts breaking legs and arms at will the film becomes decidedly vicious. It is interesting because the film builds up Jaa’s aggression as it progresses, his kicks, knees and punches slowly giving way to his more hands on stuff. The climax of the movie has Jaa taking on fifty opponents and dispatching them all with vicious bone breaking grapples. For three minutes Jaa acts like a mad chiropractor, grabbing opponents and contorting whatever part he has hold of to a horrifying new angle.

What is great about the scene is that it starts with Jaa getting stabbed and giving his attacker an almost pitying look before folding him into some unidentifiable shape and it perfectly sets the tone of whats to come. We know that Jaa is going to win against these odds, that look just confirms that he is not going to be taking any prisoners. There are some dispatches without the use of grapples, but they mostly involve kicking people’s feet out from under them and forcing them to land neck first onto the floor. What makes this viciousness so impressive is that there’s not much blood on show, and most of the brutality comes from performance and sound editing. The sound of bones cracking being far more effective than the actual sight of bones breaking.

What is frustrating about Tom Yum Goong is that despite it being exceptionally action packed, it has five major action set pieces, it still drags immensely thanks to an overly long plot that serves no purpose other than to pad out the running time. Tony Jaa breaking people who eat rare and endangered animals is a great plot. Tony Jaa helping his friend, the Thai police officer in Australia, investigate the assassination of a politician which may be linked to said dastardly endangered animal eaters just isn’t.

Babycart at the River Styx

Objectively Babycart at the River Styx is one of the least violent films in the Lonewolf and Cub series. Its direct sequel doubles the films body count and the rest of the series expands the death tool from that point, until the sixth and final film has a body count roughly equal to an ethnic cleansing. But the later films in the series sacrifice quality for quantity, and Babycart at the River Styx remains the film with the best pacing and best combat.

Being a Japanese production the Lonewolf and Cub series of movies are manga adaptations. The story follows ex-official executioner Ogami Itto and his son Daigoro as they traipse around Japan looking for people to kill for money. Constantly hounded by the Yagyu clan of Ninjas, who killed Ogami’s wife, the father and son team find themselves constantly warding off attacks.

The essential plot of a Lonewolf and Cub film will involve Ogami Itto being hired to kill some corrupt official or yakuza, setting out to complete his mission and getting swamped by evil Ninja’s at every juncture before a climatic showdown with a) Super Skilled Singular Warriors b) a small army.

Babycart at the River Styx has Ogami Itto being hired to kill an official who knows the secret of a special dye who is rather unfortunately being guarded by the Lords of Death (category a) a trio of psychopaths who look like they fell off of the set of Big Trouble In Little China. Each wields a special weapon; razor sharp claws, a metal fist or a really big stick and are masters of killing people, hence being called Lords of Death rather than Lords of Mild Inconvenience.

Ogami also has to deal with an army of female ninjas, desperate to prove they are equal to their male colleagues. This attempt at feminine empowerment is achieved by attacking Ogami Itto using a multitude of cunning plans. Of particular note is the attempt on Ogami’s life with razor sharp turnips. These attacks however set the basis for what is perhaps one of the greatest action sequences in the series.

Ogami Itto plods along throughout the entire film, pushing the Babycart and looking ahead at all times seemingly lost in thought. In Babycart at the River Styx Ogami shuffles across a road and is consistently assaulted by wave after wave of Ninja, dispatching them with consistent ease. As the sequence goes on he gets more and more bloodied and exhausted looking, weaponised vegetables taking an obvious toll on the man. It is a sequence which works because it humanises the inhumane Ogami Itto, the constant assaults actually show him being driven to the point of defeat. It also allows the staging of mass slaughter as Ogami is forced to contend with attack after attack.

The one thing the Lonewolf and Cub films are famous for is its use of arterial spray. Taking a more esoteric view on human biology any wound inflicted in the film results in geysers of florid red blood. This high pressure blood flow is both morbidly delightful, allowing for rivers of viscera to flow, and stylish giving the films their own unique sensibilities.

If you’re reading what I’m describing and thinking you’ve seen this film, but not with this title, then you’ve most likely seen the widely popular reediting of films number 1 and 2 in the series. Shogun Assassin is a conglomeration of the action scenes of the first film, and the action scenes of Babycart at the River Styx with exposition provided by voiceover from Daigoro. I realise now that the constant blood letting of Shogun Assassin is probably more suitable for this list, but I’ve written nearly 500 words on Babycart and I’m lazy.

Babycart at the River Styx is still pretty grim at moments though, despite the ropey special effects. Heads are cleaved in twain, feet are lopped off at the angle, women are impaled, many people are stabbed with sharpened claws, and in a standout scene a ninja is cut into bite sized morsels by a pack of female ninja, to prove a point. There is a surprisingly hard edge to the film, typified by Ogami Itto not giving a damn when somebody throws his son down a well, which almost makes it not be mindless fun. Then a Lord of Death stabs underground ninjas in the desert with his metal claw of doom and everything is right with the world again.

Born to Fight

Back to Thailand for a film that invokes the fond memories of nearly killing stuntmen for our viewing pleasure. Directed by the choreographer of Ong-Bak and starring a few of the guys Tony Jaa kicked around, Born to Fight is a blisteringly silly action film which is just desperate to be as entertaining as possible. Kicking off with a deliriously insane fight in and around two speeding Lorries, with stuntmen getting bounced between the two and avoiding a grisly death by the grace of god alone, Born to Fight is eager to please and eager to show off.

The majority of the plot is relayed at the start, with a drug dealer being caught by a city cop who then takes a break from it all by going with his sister on a charity mission to a rural village. This charity mission includes getting lots of professional sportspeople and athletes together for no particular reason. As luck would have it, a group of terrorists invade the village and take everyone hostage in hopes of bartering their lives for the release of the aforementioned drug dealer. This, of course, is all just setup for 40 minutes of awesomely bizarre action.

The opening whilst spectacular is somewhat misleading as it makes the film seem like a pastiche of other movies, notably Jackie Chan’s Police Story. Once the action switches to the village everything becomes nice and unique. After hearing an empowering rendition of the national anthem the villagers rebel against their captors, using their natural skills to mount an all out attack on the terrorists.

When I saw using their natural talents, I really mean using their natural talents, as people use soccer, gymnastics, rugby, and traditional Muay Thai fighting to battle their enemies. You’ve not seen fighting until you’ve seen a man use a hardened ball as a projectile weapon, or seen a one legged man drop kick an armed terrorist, or seen a little girl Muay Thai smash a bad guy. It’s a glorious display of insanity and it just keeps on giving, with the main hero battling foes with guns, flaming sticks, and eventually his fists in an attempt to stop the launch of a nuclear weapon, which is set to destroy Bangkok for arbitrary reasons.

Arbitrary reasons are the only reasons that matter in Born to Fight; the movie really is just about watching people fight. What helps the movie immensely is the kind of bombast you’d normally associate with the 1980s, people are exploded with rocket launchers, bad guys laugh maniacally as they try and run people down in trucks, the hero dashes around on a motorcycle and gains the strength to fight from his dead mentor (generally speaking if I was gonna gain tips on fighting, I’d get them from somebody who wasn’t killed in combat).

What makes Born to Fight work is the sheer lunacy and gusto on show. The film constantly throws new stunts and fights at you and the director seems to have no care at all for his stunt team. Watching stunt men get thrown off of a lorry, onto a pursuing car and onto the ground is incredible purely because it looks like somebody got lobbed off of a lorry onto a car. There’s a highlight reel at the end showcasing just how much damage was inflicted on stunt performers which I’m guessing is to show you how dedicated the stuntmen are, all it does for me is make me want to set up a charitable organisation to save Thai stunt workers.

I actually feel kinda bad for Born to Fight because it is easily the hardest film on the list to write about, largely because it’s a movie you can’t intellectualise. You just have to experience it.

Hard Boiled

Hard Boiled is the king of Asian action cinema and the reason for many peoples unwavering faith in a director who hasn’t made anything decent for nearly a decade. Purportedly 307 people are killed in this film; making it the 3^rd most violent film ever made (just after 300 and Return of the King which are essentially feature length battles).

John Woo was a master of gunplay in Hong Kong and Hard Boiled is probably the pinnacle of his career. Following Inspector Tequila as he takes on a dangerous new gangster, the film barely lets up for breath staging action set piece after action set piece. Gunfights in teahouses, gunfights at chop shops, gunfights in boats, in vaults and in hospitals, John Woo sets up his film as a sprawling battle across Hong Kong even having the audacity to have an execution occur in a library when we all know that the sound of weapons discharging would breach the noise limit.

Holding the film together is a central performance from the ever awesome Chow Yun-Fat that gives a lot of humanity to a character who really shouldn’t have any. Tequila is the standard cop on the edge, shooting gangsters by day and playing a mean Jazz clarinet by night. There is enough charm and charisma to the performance to flesh out what is essentially a cipher and it gives the film that added edge.

Playing against Chow Yun-Fat are Hong Kong legends Anthony Wong and Tony Leung who play Tequila’s nemesis and undercover partner respectively. Anthony Wong is given very little to work with and is left to chew the scenery as a hysterically evil gangster, whilst Leung gives a great conflicted portrayal of an undercover cop in a little too deep. But enough about petty stuff like acting, lets talk about how the way in which John Woo destroys stuff.

Hard Boiled is an ode to the automatic pistol, and a sonata to the shotgun, there was a Requiem to the Grenade but it was cut for budgetary reasons. It is a film designed to restore confidence in the police force, a move away from the usual antiheroes and gangsters of Woo’s older films. Tequila is a super cop, dual wielding pistols, sliding down banisters and always getting his target. He’s an almost unstoppable force of nature, pitted against a gang who are almost as powerful and deadly as he is.

There is a clear distinction between good and evil in the flick, a line of honour and ethics that the villains continually flout. At least 50 of the 307 corpses in Hard Boiled belong to innocents who are gunned down by the villains of the piece. Indeed, in the climatic shoot out Woo enforces the innate evil of his villains by having them shoot crippled patients and babies. In any other film this would be almost laughable, but Hard Boiled is so spectacular in its action that you barely notice that the villain is a guy who even Charles Manson would cross the street to avoid.

John Woo’s aesthetic is still impeccable, and even after sixteen years of the style being in the public conscious it still works. The countless homages and pastiches mean nothing when they can’t even approach the bat shit insanity of the films best set pieces. The chop shop sequence, where the villains mount a raid on a warehouse and literally explode the place is still a fantastic piece of work. There’s energy and vitality to the scene that has yet to be matched and the sheer inventiveness and acrobatics on display are mind boggling. Watching bits of the set explode as a motorcycle skids into an office, the rider taking out four guys with a submachine gun; can still cause an adrenaline rush.

The other thing which makes the scene work is Woo’s blatant disregard for the reality of weapons, his patented ‘John Woo Shotguns’ causing anything they shoot to explode even the disused shells of cars. Once again, despite sartorial imitations no director has ever quite matched the sheer balletic grace of Tequila leaping over one motorcycle and exploding another in mid air. It’s pompous and overblown, but it’s the tone of the film.

The major set piece of course is the finale in a hospital, which is essentially a 30 minute shootout against a small army of gangsters using all manner of weaponry. From a modified flintlock pistol to a grenade launcher, with a tour of automatic rifle alley for kicks, every type of weapon you can imagine is exploited in a half hour orgy of destruction. The iconic moment is of course Tequila cradling a baby in one arm, whilst wielding an automatic pistol in his free hand, but for me the scene which stands out is the extended gun battle captured in one long continuous shot. This gunfight zigzags around rooms and even up floors and it’s a masterstroke in a film which is already bursting with genius.

Outro

I’ve now written 4000 words on violence in Asian Cinema, which makes it sound like a dissertation. More than anything else I hope these are films which people enjoy because they are great, great pieces of work (well apart from Riki-Oh) which are just there to be entertaining. Of course I’ve missed a lot of films off, I could have included any number of Wuxia movies, or Ichi the Killer, or A Bittersweet Life. But I’m hoping to approach the Ichi and Bittersweet in a more analytical light later on, and I think Wuxia doesn’t fit in with the stylisation I’m going for.

These films REVEL in their destruction and I think there’s an inherent guilt in that bloodlust in a lot of Wuxia. If you disagree or agree, feel free to leave a comment.

I’d really like that.

Us Release Artwork of Smile

As I previously mentioned in my “Top 5 Tracks to make you NOT hate Japanese Music” Boris are an amazingly versatile band. They have proven this to be fact with the release of their 14th studio album “Smile”. Anyone who knows anything about the band knows that they often genre hop from existential melodic epics to short snappy popish songs. “Smile” is a nice merge of experimental melodies with the use of drum machines and samples along side the band and an easier listening rock feel.

The band themselves mentioned in “Terrorizer” Magazine that “Smile” is their “un-cool album” or “sell out album”.

No one would blame you if you thought the same. Previous albums including “Drone Evil: Final”“Soundtrack from film “Mabuta no Ura” and (a fictional film, used only as a premise to inspire the album) were largely concept driven, and in the case of Drone Evil draggy and often boring.

Smile opens with what sounds it is to be a typical “post-metal” track but breaks at a possible minute in into something a bit Beatles-esque. “Flower, Sun, Rain” is a mix of pitchy solo’s, Pink Floyd vocals and bassy lows. This is very much the feeling of the album.

In true Boris fashion “Smile” ends with a signature piece. A 15 minute epic harking back to previous albums. I am satisfied with the album, correct that more that satisfied. This is easily one of my favourite albums of ‘08 and again thanks to Boris’ versatility, an album that I think deserves a listen from even the closed of music fans. If I worked with stars here at the Babble Tower then It’d easily be a 7 out 5. I never was good with counting.

As a child my favourite movies were “The Never Ending Story” and “The Karate Kid” or at least my favourite kids movies, I was a huge “Aliens” fan. Every year these two favourites are aired on Bank Holidays, Easter Holidays maybe even Christmas, and every year I watch them as if for the first time.

No kid’s movie has yet made such an impact on me, enough for me to care, except now. “The Forbidden Kingdom” probably isn’t written to be a kid’s movie but is basically a mash of the two. With that new fancy-pants kind of Kung-Fu, the kind with ropes and badass stunts.

The story follows Martial Arts Movie enthusiast Jason Tripitikas (if my genius mind is correct Tripitikas is an
ancient chinese character, the Monkey King, nice reference) as he is given a Magical Staff handed down generations by his favourite martial arts retailer Hop, and told to return it to it’s owner. Jason is thrust into Ancient China as he falls unconscious thanks to the handywork of High School bully characters #1 through 4. I should itterate now that the Ancient China isn’t the real Ancient China it is more of an Alice in Wonderland type setting, my media brain is desperate to inform you that it is fact Jianghu a fictional environment often used in Chinese Story telling.

Anyway, Jason soon meets Drunken Kung-Fu master Lu Yan (Jackie Chan to you and I) who coinsidentaly speaks perfect English and is nice enough to help Jason on his quest to return the staff. Along the journey we meet vengeful musician Golden Sparrow set to murder the murderer of her murdered parents. We also bump into Silent Monk Jet Li (oh yes, all star cast right here) and our band of travelers is ready. Plot unravels, fantastic twists ensue and the day is saved.
The movie is actually a pretty clever concept. As I stated before it is the world of Jianghu a traditional fictional chinese environemt but the movie employs very western story telling concepts (or russian, but russia is west of china.) Our good friend Vladimir Propp, Russian structualist, theorised the main characters used in folk stories.
These include:
The Villain, The Donor (giver of magical object), The (magical) Helper, The Princess (object of love), The Dispatcher (sends the hero on the the journey) and last by not least The Hero.

I’m sure you don’t need me to see where these characters fit in.

This is an interesting and very clever move for Jet Li and Jackie Chan as “Forbidden Kingdom” is a good entry point for young fans into martial arts, but doesn’t try to make you believe Detroit white boys can actually know kung-fu fighting styles or become a master of Karate. It also creates a stepping stone into an interest for Chinese history or mythology and opens up movies such as “House of Flying Daggers”, “Crouching Tiger..” and “Hero” as potential buys.

I know a lot of people who will be put off by “reading” movies and will refuse to watch something foreign, HOLD YOUR MYTHICAL LUCK DRAGONS this is a Hollywood movie, directed by longtime Disney employee of the month Rob Minkoff of “Lion King” and “Stuart Little” fame.

If this movie does not become an insta-hit it will definately last the generations as a cult movie and something to stand along side “The Goonies” and “Labrynth”.

*Shudder* David Bowie.